The Broken Ones
by iSneezeStars
Summary: Sleep. Get up. Put on her armor. Face the day and smile. Smile. Smile! Come home and break down. This was the way Darcy Lewis lived her life. Her eyes opened and she sighed. "God damn it," she slurred. She was awake and staring at her blurred ceiling. She had woken up again. Why? Why couldn't she just not exist? (Steve/Darcy/Bucky)
1. It Hurts So Good

The Broken Ones

Chapter One:  
>It Hurts So Good<p>

* * *

><p>Sleep. Get up. Put on her armor. Face the day and smile. <em>Smile<em>. _**Smile!**_

Sleep. Get up. Put on her armor. Face the day and smile. _Smile_. _**Smile!**_

Sleep. Get up. Put on her armor. Face the day and smile. _Smile_. _**Smile!**_

* * *

><p>Sleep. Get up. Put on her armor. Face the day and smile. <em>Smile<em>. _**Smile!**_ Come home and break down. This was the way Darcy Lewis lived her life. Her eyes opened and she sighed.

"God damn it," she slurred. She was awake and staring at her blurred ceiling. She had woken up again. Why? Why couldn't she just not exist? Why couldn't she have passed away in her sleep? At least then she wouldn't have to pretend like there was a point to her life. She wouldn't have to pretend like she mattered. She did the same thing every day, day in and day out. Wake up, get up, go to work, play babysitter, pretend she was fine, come home, cry and sleep. Then she would get up and do it all again. What point was there to her life? She wasn't Jane; she wasn't making scientific discoveries or trying to make the world a better place. She didn't have someone to come home to at night, someone who loved her. She had nothing and no one… so what was the point of living?

Rolling over she squinted at her clock. If she didn't get out of bed soon, she would be late, but she just couldn't bring herself to move. A hollowness settled deep within her chest that began to fill with nothing but despair.

"It's time to get out of bed Miss Lewis," said the aristocratic English voice from nowhere.

"Morning JARVIS," Darcy greeted the disembodied voice and threw an arm over her eyes.

"Good Morning, Miss Lewis," he replied.

There was always JARVIS, he would notice if she didn't get out of bed in the morning. Sighing, she heaved herself up and untangled herself from her blankets. By the time she had managed that, she was already tired again; it just took so much effort. Walking over to the bathroom, she looked at the shower and frowned. Did she have to shower? She couldn't do it, not today… besides, no one would notice if she showered or not. Turning to the sink she began to brush her teeth in circular motions. Her hand felt heavy and sluggish but she forced herself to finish.

Spit and rinse.

She looked up at herself in the mirror and cringed. Her skin was too pale, her under eye circles too dark, her hair looked like a rat's nest and her lips were too big. But the real problem, the _real_ problem, was the dead look in her eyes. The look that said she'd all but given up on life. It was a look that would draw attention. She was a mess. Rolling up her sleeves she got to work. Hair up in a messy bun, concealer to hide the dark circles and glasses to hide her eyes. Bright red lipstick on her lips that yelled 'look at my mouth and not my eyes'. All she needed now was clothing. Trudging to her closet, she picked out an oversized sweater and a pair of yoga pants. Easy. Done. She practically wore the same thing every day. Something baggy that hid her figure. Looking in the mirror, she gave herself a once over and sighed. It would have to do. It was time to go.

* * *

><p>"Jane," Darcy said in a tone that would have caught most people's attention. "Jane," she tried a little louder. "Jane," she all but shouted and put the plate of Pop-tarts she was holding down on the table in front of the small woman.<p>

"Darcy, you are stopping science!" Jane glared.

"Science needs a Pop-tart," Darcy said with a grin. "Eat it or I'll tell Thor."

"Slave driver." Picking up one of the thin pastries, she bit into it with a face that said _happy now_.

"Next time I'll bring my whip," Darcy joked.

"Darcy, why do you have whip?" Tony asked, poking his head around one of the machines he was working on.

"Extracurricular activities."

Over in his own workspace Bruce coughed and tried to hide a smile. Winking she picked up her iPod, intent on ignoring Tony.

"Go on, I'm intrigued," he purred.

"Oh look it's a party!" Darcy smiled, ignoring him as she welcomed the newcomers.

"Ma'am" Steve greeted her as he entered the room. Rolling her eyes, she gagged at the acknowledgment. "Miss Lewis," he tried to correct himself.

"Darcy," she said, like he should know this by now. They had met a handful of times and every time she told him to call her by her first name.

"Darcy," Bucky greeted her from behind the Captain with a smirk.

"Miss Lewis," she corrected him.

"You wound me." He clutched his chest in mock pain.

"Oh, I didn't realize the Tin Man had a heart. Or are you just here for a tune up?" she said, nodding over at Tony.

"Ouch! If I did have a heart, it would be broken right now, that's for sure."

"You'll get over it." She shrugged. "Shoo, before Frankenstein gets antsy that no one's paying attention to him." Darcy waved them in and towards Tony. They weren't here to see her, that was for sure. They barely knew each other. But a girl could dream.

"I can't decide whether to be offended that you compared me to Frankenstein or that amused that you underhandedly called Barnes his monster," said Tony, wiping his hands on a rag.

"Tony!" Steve all but jumped on him.

"No harm done," said Bucky holding up his hands.

"Frankenstein was a genius," Darcy avoided the topic and tried not to blush.

"No, I'm a genius, Frankenstein was a hack," he admonished, his narcissism saving her from an embarrassing moment.

"Don't you have something else to be doing, Tony?" Jane rolled her eyes and pushed the half eaten Pop-tart off her papers.

"Did you know Darcy owns a whip… for extracurricular activities?" he waggled his eyebrows at the two super soldiers.

"Stark!" Jane barked, saving her.

"Alright, alright." He held up his hands. "Right this way gentlemen." He ushered them over to his work area and began picking up random tools. As mortifying as that conversation had been, at least she had some eye candy for the next little bit. Sitting down, Darcy put in her headphones and began to pretend to work.

* * *

><p>Darcy's shoulders sagged as she stepped onto the elevator. The last hour had been so unnerving, pretending to work so she could ogle the boys and totally getting caught by Tony. Fortunately for her he had the amazing grace not to say anything. He only winked at her and moved so she had a better view of them. The doors to the elevator began to close when a metal hand stopped them, causing Darcy to grown inwardly. Making their way onto the elevator, Steve and Bucky nodded at her and pressed the button for their floor. Silence surrounded the trio.<p>

"So this is awkward," Darcy said casually, not able to handle the silence. Steve coughed once and looked up a small smile on his face, while Bucky grinned at her. "Listen about that Frankenstein comment… Tony just has a way of twisting people's words," Darcy explained.

"No harm done," he said again with a wink.

"Cool because you're not a monster anymore anyway, you're a real boy now… and that arm is pretty sweet," she rambled. She had a tendency to do that when she was uncomfortable.

"Darcy!" Steve cautioned her, the small smile from earlier gone.

"Relax, Steve." Bucky put a hand on the other man's shoulder as the elevator opened on her floor. With a small sigh of relief Darcy stepped out and onto her floor.

"Excuse me, I'm going to go drown myself now." She pointed in the direction of her room.

"See yah, Doll," Bucky laughed good-naturedly.

"Ma'am." Steve nodded to her stiffly as the doors closed on them. What the hell was wrong with her?

* * *

><p>Walking through the door to her room she dropped her purse and plodded over to the bed. Crashing into it she didn't even bother to change as she flung off her shoes and curled up into a ball. Today had been embarrassing and she wanted it to end. Pulling the blankets up over her she lay there replaying scenes from the day. She was so awkward.<p>

The thing was, Darcy thought she shouldn't feel the way she did. There was no reason for it. She had a job most people would kill for. She knew a billionaire, superheroes and a God. She had a family that loved her and she supposed she had what most people considered friends. So why was it that every morning she woke up feeling so empty? She didn't know.

She had the notion once to tell Jane how she felt. She had tried but the words wouldn't come out and then Jane said the words that had haunted her ever since:

"You're always so strong, Darcy."

And the words went away. Darcy wasn't seen as sad or pitiful. She was perceived as the strong, sarcastic girl with the great rack. That was what people expected, no, _needed_ from her. Everyone needed her to be strong, so that's what she would be. Everyone around her had real problems and real issues and they were still working to make the world a better place.

If she couldn't change the world, maybe she could change the people around her for the better. Even if it was only a smile when they needed it. She could be what they needed her to be. Even if that meant she had to keep up an act, she could do it. She was an A+ actor. If anyone knew how good she actually was, she'd surely win an Oscar. So she would keep it to herself. It didn't matter that she went home at night and cried for a few hours or that she had to force herself to do the smallest of things. It didn't matter because she didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was not bothering anybody with her silliness.

* * *

><p><em>A.N: So I don't know how I feel about this story, nor do I have any real plans for it. I just wanted to write something about depression and The Avengers and then I made that graphic and BAM this happened. I have no idea if this story is any good or if I should continue it. If you have any ideas on where to take this drop them in a comment for me to read. <em>

_Friend me on __Tumblr_ _and _Twitter_ if you want to keep up with me. Let's talk. __**Seriously**__. Check out my profile to find out more about me__._


	2. I Used to Know Him

The Broken Ones

Chapter Two:  
>I used to know him<p>

* * *

><p>Darcy struggled with the boxes Stark had instructed her to bring down to the lobby. She pinned them between the wall of the elevator and her body using her weight to keep the boxes steady. She could put them down but the effort it would take to lift them back up again wasn't worth it. Also, it would be much more difficult to lift them back up now that they weren't on a table. So it was best she just held onto them.<p>

Huffing, she blew a strand of hair off of her face. Why was she doing this again? Didn't Stark have lackeys for this? She was pretty sure he has muscle bound lackeys that could deal with heavy boxes better then she could. Of course she could have also taken the boxes down one at a time but who had time for that? The elevator slowed to a stop on the _soldier's_ floor as Darcy liked to call it. She made a face at the doors, unsure of whether she should perk up or sigh. Slowly sliding open, the doors revealed none other than the Captain himself and his trusty two sidekicks. They stared at each other for a beat before Steve nodded.

"Ma'am," he said. Causing Darcy to roll her eyes.

"Darcy," he corrected himself as he stepped into the elevator and frowned at her, taking in her predicament.

"Would you l-"

"Help her, Punk!" Bucky pushed him forward and winked at her as he stepped onto the elevator.

"It's fi-"

"I was going to offer, before you interrupted," Steve cut her off and scowled at Bucky. Bending down he took the boxes out of her arms without so much as a huff of effort.

"Okay, thank you." Darcy shook out her arms awkwardly. "Yay for having muscles."

"They do come in handy," Sam laughed as he pressed the button for the man floor. Giving them a once over, Darcy noted they were dressed to go running. That's what they must be going to do, she thought.

"You moving out?" asked Sam, giving her a pointed look.

"No, Stark's having me bring these to the lobby for Happy to pick up and do something with," she explained. Was that a good look or a bad look, she thought to herself, did they want her to move out?

"Doesn't he have lackeys for that?" Bucky asked in disgust.

"Right?" she exclaimed as the doors to the elevator opened once more but this time on the floor she needed.

"Where too?" Steve asked, looking down at her with a smile.

"Happy's right over there" Darcy said, scanning the room and pointing to the driver. They crossed the room to Happy and gave the boxes over to the man with a smile and a nod. "Thanks for the help, Cap," said Darcy with a mock salute.

"Anytime, Ma'am," he replied with a smirk and a nod.

"Darcy," Sam nodded at her.

"Sam, Bucky." Darcy held her salute for them as they passed by her on their way out. Sam laughed and Bucky shook his head at her. Turning to head back up, Darcy smiled to herself, it was nice of Steve to help like that… even if he didn't want to.

* * *

><p>Bucky watched as Steve added sugar to his coffee and scowled. Lifting his own cup to his lips, he took a sip of the strong, unaltered, black liquid.<p>

"I don't know how you still drink it like that," Steve said, nodding towards the cup in Bucky's hands.

"I don't know when you started drinking your coffee like a dame," Bucky replied, ribbing him.

"I don't drink my coffee like a dame. Nothing is wrong with adding milk and sugar to a cup or with having a latte. Sam introduced me to lattes and they are good. You should try 'em."

"No thanks," Bucky made a face. "Besides, the coffee is better these days in itself, doesn't need no fancy milk and sugar with vanilla bean," Bucky goaded Steve.

"Quiet, Jerk," said Steve taking a long sip of his coffee in response.

"Punk."

* * *

><p>It was funny how a cup of coffee could set Bucky off. How one silly little drink could send him spiraling, but it had. He'd told Steve he needed to be clean and retreated to the bathroom without finishing his own coffee. Once there, he had turned on the water and sat on the floor in front of the shower. He had spent the next forty-five minutes rocking back and forth, fighting for control. He could feel it slipping away from him, but he wouldn't let go. He wouldn't lose himself; he had been doing so well. When it was over he stood, turned off the water and made his way to the sink.<p>

Cleaning the steam off the mirror Bucky looked at himself. His eyes fell to the seam of flesh where his metal arm connected with his skin. He normally tried to avoid looking at it but today he couldn't keep his eyes off it. Hydra had taken him away from Steve. They had brainwashed him, they had destroyed him and they had made it so he no longer knew the love of his life. He had missed so much and now he no longer knew who Steve was.

Sure he knew Steve's history but someone's history is only one part of them. Steve had changed, physically and mentally, and Bucky didn't know how to deal with that. He used to know everything about Steve. He knew his sizes… he knew what size shirt, pant or shoe he took. He even knew what part of Steve's shoe would wear away first and when they would need to be replaced. He didn't know his sizes anymore.

Steve used to need him too. He needed him to stop fights, though Steve would never admit it. He used to need him on the nights when it was too cold to function and they couldn't afford to heat the house. They would share a bed and use their body heat to keep warm. Now Steve could stand up for himself and produced so much body heat he didn't need Bucky to cuddle with anymore. He didn't even need him as a friend anymore, if Bucky really thought about it. He had Sam and The Avengers now. People that cared about him and knew him now.

Bucky clenched his fists and shut his eyes tightly. He needed to stop thinking about this or he was going to lose control. He needed to get out of the apartment. He needed to be alone and away from people. He needed to hit something...

* * *

><p>With a grunt Bucky's fist slammed against the reinforced punching back with enough force to send it swinging wildly. He glared at the flimsy bag and stopped it from swinging. Winding up for another punch he stopped as the door to the gym opened.<p>

"Darcy," he acknowledged her before going back to hitting the bag as though everything wrong with the world was its fault.

"Don't mind me, just making sure everything is stocked and ready for Bruce's morning meditation and yoga routine." She crossed the room and went to work in a corner he couldn't see. After a few minutes, he had all but forgotten she was there – until she spoke. "Want to talk about it?" She made her way from the corner to stand beside his bag.

"Nothing to talk about," he said through gritted teeth.

"Really?" she asked incredulously, watching him pummel the defenseless punching bag. "Listen Barnes, I am only going to ask you one more time. Do you want to put on your big boy pants and talk about your problems like an adult or do you want to sulk and throw a tantrum like a child?"

"Tantrum." Like hell he was going to talk to her about Steve. He didn't know her that well. Hell, he didn't know anyone that well.

"Okay, then." She turned away from him and began to walk away.

"It's just…" Bucky found himself speaking before he could stop himself. "I don't know him anymore, not like I used too." Bucky dropped his guard and turned to face her. It was too late to take it back. "He's not the same Steve I grew up with…" he trailed off, feeling ashamed of himself for even saying anything. He watched her stare at him and could practically hear the gears in her brain turning as she thought of what to say.

"Here's the thing," she said. "People grow and change in life, you have to grow and change with them or you'll lose them." She walked back towards him. "Yes, he's changed but so have you. Are you the same Bucky he knew back then? No, and you shouldn't try to be either because that's not you anymore. You've been through some shit, war, torture-"

"Brainwashing," he interrupted her with a grin. Grabbing his towel and wiping down his face.

"Brainwashing," she nodded. "And you can't just pretend that stuff didn't happen. Will Steve ever understand what it's like to be unmade? No, but that doesn't mean he's not going to try. Just because you don't know him like you used to doesn't mean you can't know him just as intimately as before. It's okay to miss what you had, because you had something most people only dream about. The thing is Bucky, you still have it and while it may be a little different now, it's the same in the in one fundamental aspect."

"What's that?" he asked tossing his towel on the bench and grabbing a water bottle, he took a sip from it.

"Love, doofus." She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You both still love each other. So what does it matter if he's taller or whatever? Work on what you have, not what you had. If you don't know him anymore, take the time to get to know him again."

"Wow," he said looking at her in awe. Whatever he had expected when he first spoke, it certainly wasn't this. There was clearly something more to Darcy Lewis then met the eye.

"One more thing and I may be going a little too far here but I get the feeling you need to hear it," she said glancing around the gym like she was making sure it was all clear. "You're pretty great." She smiled at him. "Listen… I didn't know the old Bucky. I hear he was pretty great but kind of a shmuck - though, great all the same. The thing is, I kind of know this Bucky now, a little, and I like him. He's great. You shouldn't mourn the loss of your old self because, like I said before everyone changes. So embrace who you are now, because you're awesome. Okay?" Reaching out she shoved him in the shoulder and began to back away. "Anyway, I gotta go." She pointed to the door. "Good chat." And with that she left him standing there, dumbstruck and unsure of what to say or do. He had definitely not expected that but he got it.

* * *

><p>What was she doing? Oh God, had she just said all that to Bucky Barnes? What was wrong with her? He hadn't asked for a lecture. He had simply said he didn't know his boyfriend like he used too and she had to go and give him a sermon. What was her life? And for that matter what was she doing with her life? Why was she even in Avenger's tower? This couldn't be a viable career option, could it? How long could she keep this up? Pretending to be a lab monkey and taking care of three fully grown adults.<p>

Her heart clenched when she thought about it and the air left her lungs; she was frozen. What was she doing with her life? Nothing. She had a job that didn't matter and an unfinished degree that she couldn't do anything with. Could she go back to school? But she had been out of it for so long… and she didn't have the money for university again, she was still paying off loans from the first time. She had the feeling she would be paying them off until she was fifty. Not to mention, what if she failed, what if she went to school again got her degree and then couldn't get a job in her field and ended up working in retail? The thought of that paralyzed her. She would have failed. Who was she kidding, she had failed already. She was a failure and she had no reason to live. No reason to keep breathing.

Jabbing the pen she was holding into her hand she pushed so hard it punctured the skin.

"Shit," she swore as blood began to pool in the middle of her hand. It hurt, it hurt badly but she continued to push and make herself bleed more. If she concentrated on this pain she wouldn't think about how much of a failure she was and how much she had embarrassed herself earlier.

* * *

><p>After cleaning herself up and wrapping her hand in a bandage, Darcy decided she needed some food. She was sad and she wanted junk food. So it was off to the kitchen with her. She just hoped she didn't encounter Bucky. She didn't think she could handle that so soon after embarrassing herself as she had.<p>

"Hey, Doll." Luck was not on her side. She sighed.

"Barnes, Cap'n," she said, giving them a mock salute.

"Ma'am," Steve greeted her, his heart-melting smile in place. She shook herself. She needed to get a hold of herself, these boys were taken. Still, that didn't stop them from being dreamy.

"We had an enlightening conversation earlier." Bucky nodded at her.

"We did," she agreed, wondering where he was going with this and if he was going to embarrass her more.

"I just wanted to say, you're kind of smart," he said with a smirk.

"Kind of?"

"Well, I don't want you getting all full of yourself now, so yeah, kind of," he affirmed.

"Thanks, I think?" Darcy said, scratching the back of her head. Maybe she hadn't embarrassed herself as badly as she thought she had. Or maybe he was making fun of her.

"That's as close as he comes to thank you," Steve interjected, looking confused. "Though I don't know why you are thanking her…?"

"That's top secret. If I told you, I'd have to kill you," said Darcy, making a gun with her hand and shooting at Steve with a wink.

"What happened to your hand?" Steve asked, his smile fading as he grabbed her hand.

"Oh… I stabbed myself with a pen."

"You stabbed yourself with a pen," he clarified.

"Yup."

"Only you, Doll, only you," said Bucky, taking her hand and pulling the bandage back to inspect her wound. "Good job."

"Thanks," she shrugged, taking her hand back and re-wrapping it. If they only knew why she had done it, she thought to herself. Let them think of it as a joke. Clumsy Darcy. No one need to know different.

* * *

><p><em>A.N: I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry. <em>

_Friend me on __Tumblr_ _and _Twitter_ if you want to keep up with me. Let's talk. __**Seriously**__. Check out my profile to find out more about me__._


	3. Sometimes, I Hate the Mask

The Broken Ones

Chapter Three:  
>Sometimes, I Hate the Mask<p>

* * *

><p>Steve sat beside Bucky reading while the latter napped. It was one of those moments that he loved, where everything fell into place and felt right – which obviously meant it wasn't to last. Suddenly, a metal hand thumped Steve in the chest hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Fingers curling, Bucky hooked onto Steve's shirt and ripped it. Letting out a low moan, his eyes still closed, the peaceful look on his face had been replaced with a furrowed brow.<p>

"Bucky," said Steve loudly but got no response. "Bucky!" he tried again, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're safe! No one is going to hurt you," he soothed. "I got you." Steve shook the shoulder he was holding. The movement made Bucky jerk awake, his free hand shooting out to grab Steve's wrist.

"St-Steve?" he stuttered coming out of it slowly and releasing his grip on Steve's shirt.

"Yeah Buck, it's me," he soothed. A look of dismay dawned on Bucky's face as he realized what he had done.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Buck, it's just a shirt." It was better he tear up his shirt than him and better this happened to him than to anyone else. "You are getting better every day. You haven't had so much as a nightmare in over a month. Soon you will be back to the old, normal, Bucky again," Steve tried to comfort him.

"Steve." Bucky disentangled himself from the covers, letting go of his wrist in the process.

"Yeah Buck."

"Just stop," said Bucky, standing and crossing the room. Entering their bathroom he closed the door a little harder then he meant too. Looking at himself in the mirror he clenched his fists. Another setback. When would this end?

* * *

><p>Darcy rolled over in bed and slipped a hand out from under the covers. Reaching for her phone she checked the time, it was 6:30 pm, Saturday night. She had been in bed since 5:30 Friday night. She had wasted over twenty-four hours doing nothing. She didn't have anything urgent that needed to be done but still. She felt guilty. Rolling on her back, she stared up at the ceiling in contemplation. She could get up… or she could keep laying here. Moving took a lot of effort and she couldn't seem to bring herself to care. What did it matter if she got up or not? No one would notice and no one cared. Shoving her phone under the pillows, she rolled over and closed her eyes. Fuck it. It was back to sleep for her. Her life was forfeit anyway, she would stay in bed for the rest of the weekend.<p>

* * *

><p>Bucky and Sam were out to lunch with Clint and Natasha. They had asked Steve to go with them but he had begged out, claiming not to be hungry and saying he had just eaten. It was a lie, he was starving, but it had to be done. Walking into their room, he locked the door and crossed the room to the bed. Slowly, he sat down, perching on the edge of the bed. He placed his head in his hands and inhaled deeply. In and out, in and out, he deliberately took slow deep breaths. He needed to stay calm. He just needed some time to himself.<p>

He needed…

He needed…

He needed to not be Captain America… just for a few minutes, just for an hour or two. He just wanted to be Steve Rogers. The art student who fell in love with his best friend. He wasn't just a mask, he was a person and no one saw that anymore. Not since the experiment, not since Peggy. Bucky didn't even see that anymore. Bucky needed him to be Captain America. Bucky needed him to be strong and unaffected by today and all the changes the world had gone through. Bucky needed him to be his rock and that's what Steve would be, even if it meant he had to wear a mask in private.

But if Steve was honest, sometimes he hated the mask. He hated being Captain America. Captain America had stolen his best friend, his love, his girl and his life. Laying back he felt like he was drowning again. There was pressure in his chest, it felt like it was going to burst. A smoky feeling filled his nose and trickled down his throat. He wanted to breathe but he couldn't. If he inhaled his lungs would fill with water and he would freeze again. Jerking up, he put his head between his knees and took a sharp breath in.

He had suffered, but what had it been for? Everything was smoke and mirrors. He had to be okay, he had too, for Bucky, for The Avengers, for the world. The world needed him to be Captain America, the living embodiment of truth and justice. He had chosen this path, it had been his choice and it was his cross to bear. He just wished he didn't have to keep the mask on all the time. Oh well, at least he had the few minutes he did now.

* * *

><p>It was around lunchtime, Monday, when Steve decided he needed to get out of the Tower for a bit. The sky was the kind of dark grey that spelled storm, so he headed for his favourite coffee shop with his sketchbook in hand. He ordered himself a vanilla latte and snagged a corner table for himself. He had been sketching for a while when a shadow overtook him.<p>

"Darcy?" he asked looking up and sounding confused.

"Hey, hi, hello." Darcy scratched behind her ear, holding a large cup and looking nervous. "I know you probably came here to be alone, but I was wondering if I could sit with you. Everywhere else is full and it's raining out and I don't want to go back to the Tower just yet…" she rambled, looking anywhere but at Steve. Looking around her and out the window, he noted the sky had finally opened up.

"Sure," he said with a warm smile. Yes, he had come here to be alone, but he couldn't very well turn her away. That's not what Captain America would do.

"I promise I will be quiet and not say anything, I'm just going to read." She took out a book from her over-sized purse and shook it.

"Darcy, I already said yes… but on one condition."

"Name it."

"You sit here and I get to sketch you." Steve gestured to his art book.

"Deal," Darcy agreed, setting her coffee down and pulling out the chair across from him and he picked up his pencil. They sat in what Steve thought was a comfortable silence as he drew and she read. Time flew as he sketched and the next thing he knew he was finished and it was forty-five minutes later.

"Done, want to see it?" he declared and offered her the book. She took it quickly, with a smile on her face.

"Wow." Looking down, the smile fell away.

"You don't like it?" he asked frowning.

"No, it's beautiful" she said still staring at the coloured picture.

"But?"

"But I look so pretty." She matched his frown and handed the book back to him.

"And that's a problem?" he probed.

"No…" she trailed off. How did you tell the living embodiment of Adonis that he beautified you and you weren't that pretty? In fact, Darcy didn't think she was pretty at all. Just the opposite, she was fat, squat, her lips too big, her eyes too round and she had a gap in her teeth that she could squirt water through. She the furthest thing from pretty imaginable. Jane… Jane and Pepper were pretty and Natasha was downright beautiful.

"Darcy, you are pretty," said Steve, confused.

"I should go, I don't want to bother you anymore then I already have." Darcy stood with a smile that was too wide plastered on her face. "See yah, Cap!" She grabbed her empty cup and tossed it in the bin on her way out, leaving a dumbfounded Steve in her wake. She had left like the coffee shop was on fire. Had he done something wrong?

* * *

><p>"Stop walking away from me," Steve called, frustrated, as he chased Bucky up another flight of stairs. He was heading to the roof to get away from him. They were having another fight.<p>

"I'm walking away from you for a reason. I don't want to have this argument with you again," Bucky shot back. "Stop following me." Reaching the platform he strode across it and opened the door that lead to the roof.

"Bucky!" The exasperation in Steve's voice was palpable. Climbing the last flight of steps and taking them two at a time he nearly ran into Bucky. He opened his mouth to say _'What the hell Buck' _when Bucky slammed a hand into his chest and pointed across the roof. There, standing at the edge of the roof, stood Darcy.

"Darcy?" Steve called out softly in an attempt not to startle her. The roof was wet and slippery from the day's rain.

"Darcy, Doll?" Bucky tried when she didn't respond. "What are you doing?" he prodded her.

"Hmmn?" she said still looking down her stare unwavering. It was a long way down but she could do it. It didn't seem so bad, not the worst way to go. It would only take a step, a little slip and then it would all be over. She could do it. The height was mesmerizing, it made her feet tingle and her toes curl.

"What are you doing over there, Honey?" Steve edged closer to her, moving slowly, not wanting to startle her.

"I just need some air." Darcy looked over her shoulder at the pair.

"You think maybe you could come away from there?" Bucky closed in on her. She untwisted to look back down. When she didn't answer them, he grabbed her around the middle and pulled her down. She fell back with an _'oof'_ and was turned around roughly.

"Are you nuts?" Steve asked, muscling Bucky out of the way and grabbing her shoulders, he shook them.

"What were you thinking?" said Bucky over Steve's shoulder.

"You could have fallen!"

"You would have died!" Bucky placed a hand on Steve's shoulder to get him to ease up his grip on her. "Darcy?" he said softly, pulling Steve back, giving her room to breathe.

"I just… needed some air," she said in a daze before shaking her head and clearing it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Next time you need some air, Darce, just open a window." Bucky rolled his eyes, relief flooding his veins.

"Or come get one of us and we'll come up to the roof with you," Steve offered.

"I'm not a child, I can come out here on my own," Darcy snapped.

"Yeah, you just proved that," Bucky retaliated.

"Bucky," warned Steve. "Darcy, it would make me feel better if you would come get one of us."

"I'm not going to come get you every time I need some air."

"Why not?" Steve reached out to place a hand on her shoulder again but she stepped away.

"Because I don't want to bother you," she said staring at the ground.

"You wouldn't be bothering us," he insisted.

"Yes, I would," she shot back.

"Darcy, you wo-"

"I need to go," she said, interrupting him. "Sorry for scaring you." She looked between the two men, squaring her shoulders, she marched past them. Opening the door to the roof she disappeared without looking back.

* * *

><p>Bucky and Steve stood there in stunned silence for a good 5 minutes before heading back to their apartment.<p>

"That was… unnerving," said Bucky the moment they closed their door.

"I don't know if that word is strong enough," Steve replied, crossing his arms. "JARVIS, where is Darcy now?"

"Ms. Lewis is in her room," responded the AI.

"Is she okay?" Bucky asked, walking over to the couch and plopping down on it.

"Ms. Lewis is not in any physical danger."

"But is she okay, JARVIS?" Steve pushed.

"Ms. Lewis has enabled privacy mode and I am unable to comment on her well-being."

"JARVIS," Bucky bit out in annoyance.

"Sargent Barnes, the residents of this Tower are all afforded the same privacy standards." scolded JARVIS. "If you wish to check up on Ms. Lewis, might I suggest doing it in person?"

"Thank you, JARVIS."

"You are most welcome Captain Rogers."

"I don't think she wants to see us right now," Bucky mussed, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe it was nothing?" he added hopefully.

"You call standing on the edge of a building nothing?" Steve asked incredulously.

"I don't know, I'm just saying, we might be reading too much into this? She might have just needed air."

"I'm worried." Steve crossed the room and sat down in the chair opposite Bucky. "From the few conversations I've had with her I don't think she thinks very highly of herself."

"How so?"

"She wasn't sorry she could have died up there, she was sorry she scared us. She keeps saying she doesn't want to bother us and when I drew her this afternoon she thought I made her too pretty… she doesn't think she's pretty, Bucky," explained Steve.

"All dames are like that though." Bucky shrugged, not wanting to believe Darcy thought so lowly of herself.

"And now this? I think we should keep an eye on her," Steve pressed on.

"Alright, we'll keep an eye on her." It was the least Bucky could do after she had straightened him out the other week after all. He just hoped she had really just needed some air…

* * *

><p><em>A.N: Sorry for the wait but life does happen. I still don't have a plot for this but I have a few basic chapter ideas, they just need to be fleshed out… greatly. Thank you <em>_**Belle**__ for your super awesome comment by the way! _

_Friend me on __Tumblr_ _and _Twitter_ if you want to keep up with me. Let's talk. __**Seriously**__. Check out my profile to find out more about me__._


	4. Let It Go

The Broken Ones

Chapter Four:  
>Let It Go<p>

* * *

><p>Cracking open a fresh box of Pop-Tarts, Darcy warmed them up in the toaster before bringing them to Jane.<p>

"Food time," she said, waving the plate of pastries under her boss's nose.

"Science time," Jane replied, not looking up from her hunched over position.

"Food time, then science time," she reasoned, waving the plate under Jane's nose a second time.

"Darcy, you are stopping science, again!" Jane sat up and glared at her.

"Jane, I get paid to keep you alive, let me do my job. It's the only thing I'm good at." She shoved the plate into the other woman's chest, making her take it.

"I don't have time for this," Jane huffed, putting the plate of warm pastries down and off to the side.

"Science can wait while you eat a Pop-Tart," Darcy said, not batting an eyelash. "I've got all day." She crossed her arms and cocked her hip to the side, leaning against the desk.

"Ugh, fine," Jane relented, grabbing a Pop-Tart and shoving it in her mouth.

"Thank you." She walked back to her own desk to find Tony hovering around it.

"Trouble in paradise," he queried, the gossip in him getting the better of him.

"She gets cranky when she's underfed and in science mode," Darcy explained before snapping her fingers and pointing at him. "Speaking of eating, what do you want?"

"Whiskey on the rocks, its only lunchtime after all." He winked at her.

"And food." Darcy rolled her eyes.

"She's right, you are a kill joy." He rolled his eyes back at her. "Just order a pizza, Bruce and I will go halfsies. Right Bruce?" Tony called over his shoulder.

"Huh, what?" The baffled scientist looked up from his desk.

"Just agree." Tony nodded his head in an attempt to get the response he wanted.

"No?" Bruce questioned with an expression on his face that was as much confused as it was defiant.

"Good God Bruce, it's for food," Tony said wounded at the lack of trust between the Science Bro's.

"Oh, okay, sure." He went back to his work without another thought on the matter. Tony scoffed and pointed to Bruce with _'this guy'_ gesture. Like she didn't just witness the entire interaction.

"Pizza it is, then," Tony declared.

"Done and done, boss-man." Darcy saluted him and walked towards the elevators.

"Flattery will get you everywhere Ms. Lewis," Tony called after her before turning towards his Science Bro. "See Bruce, at least someone listens to me!"

* * *

><p>She should just leave. What was she even doing here? Jane didn't even need or want her. She was just a nuisance. Everyone would be fine and life would go on without her. Adults didn't need a babysitter. What was she even doing with her life?<p>

* * *

><p>It was almost time to make The Science Bro's and Brah, respectively, eat something for dinner when Darcy found herself being accosted. She had been walking down the hallway to the common room when something hit her in the butt. Clapping a hand over her behind and turning swiftly she was ready to yell but came face to face with only air. Looking around, she saw nothing and was about to leave when a little yellow dart on the floor caught her attention.<p>

"Are you kidding me?" she bent to pick up the dart and got pinged with another one in the head. "BARTON!" she hollered, looking up at the ceiling. "I know it was you and I know you are up there." That boy was dead meat. He had hit her in her behind… on purpose. There was no way the world's best archer hadn't meant to do that. "I swear to Thor, you are a dead man!"

"Did someone call me?" Thor asked, popping his head out from around the corner.

"No, Thor," said Darcy in exasperation.

"What is the matter?" Thor queried, seeing her distress. She opened her mouth to answer when another dart hit her in the forehead and stuck.

"That," she said, ripping the dart from her forehead. "That is the matter." A slow smile broke out across Thor's face.

"Battle!" he cried, grabbing Darcy and dragging her along behind him to the lockers where they kept their Nerf guns. It was essential that every member of the team have their own Nerf gun for precisely such an occasion. Most of the team had several.

* * *

><p>Darcy fell hard around a corner as she dodged a slew of Nerf darts. What had started out as Barton being a jerk-face had turned into an all-out war. It was every man (or woman in Darcy's case) for themselves. Picking herself up, she ran down the hallway away from the bird that was chasing her and straight into a broad chest. She would have hit the floor again if not for the strong arms that stopped her from falling.<p>

"Slow down there, Doll," said Bucky, righting her.

"Let go, let go, let go!" Darcy pulled herself out of his arms and dove behind him as Clint rounded the corner. Grabbing the back of Bucky's shirt, she pulled herself flush against him, using him as a human shield. Clint let out a blast of darts that Bucky blocked with his arm causing each of them to stick to it.

"Out of the way Barnes." Clint nodded at him.

"I'm out of ammo," Darcy whined quietly, holding tightly to Bucky.

"Aw, that's not fair, you pickin' on a helpless dame like that," said Bucky, standing straighter.

"She's anything but helpless."

Bucky laughed and pulled the darts off of his arm one by one and handed them back to her.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "You rock." She loaded her gun before peaking her head out around his broad shoulders, she stuck her tongue out at Clint.

"Give me the gun, Doll, and I will shoot him between the eyes for you." Bucky whispered conspiratorially to her.

"You promise not to shoot me?" Darcy asked, skeptically.

"I promise," Bucky assured her as he put his flesh arm behind his back, its palm open and waiting for the gun. Darcy hesitated a moment before trusting him.

"Hey now, no conspir-" Clint was cut off as a Nerf dart hit him square between the eyes.

"Bucky, have I ever told you that I love you?" Darcy asked as she hugged him from behind.

"I think you just did."

* * *

><p>It was late in the evening and Darcy was in bed for the night. The only problem was that her mind wouldn't shut off. She hated being seen as inferior but the thing was, she was inferior. She was the normal, less than average girl in a tower full of extraordinary people. Not only was the tower filled with geniuses and superheroes but an actual real life God lived there too. How was she supposed to compete with that? How was she supposed to contribute to that? She was nothing compared to them and they all knew it.<p>

She couldn't protect herself. She couldn't keep up with higher minds and even Jane was tired of her. The only reason she kept her around was because new interns took too long to break in. Not to mention it was either this or SHIELD would probably make her disappear. She was just so useless and no matter how hard she tried to make herself relevant it just didn't work. She was and would always be irrelevant… she should really just make herself disappear… everyone would be better off for it in the end.

If she laid here, if she just laid here for the rest of her life, would anyone notice? Or would she be able to grow old up here and wither away and die like a flower? Maybe she would be able to lay here so long her skin would became tight and translucent and her clothes ragged and moth eaten. Maybe if she tried hard enough she would be able to become a mummy. Her mother always told her she could do whatever she wanted if she tried hard enough.

Darcy frowned into the darkness. It was lies like that, which had broken her. Lies like that, which had made her believe she could be something more than she was. It was lies like that, which had made her think she had ever stood a chance in life. Because she had believed them, she had believed her mother. Her mother wouldn't have lied to her, right? But as Darcy grew she learned the hard way that it wasn't true. You couldn't always do what you wanted or be what you thought you could… no matter how hard you tried. There were simply things in this world you could never achieve no matter how hard you tried.

And sometimes it wasn't your fault. No matter how hard Darcy tried to be a ballerina when she was little she just didn't have the body for it. She had hit puberty early and she never had the proper pointe. But that was just the thing though, it wasn't her fault that she couldn't be a ballerina but she felt like it was. Maybe if she had tried harder…

"Darcy?" A familiar voice called from behind her.

"Over here." Getting up on an elbow, she twisted to look behind her at the door. She saw two hulking figures illuminated by the light from the door.

"What are you doing up here?" Bucky asked stepping forward and onto the roof.

"I thought we asked you to tell us when you were coming up here?" Steve followed him as they made their way over to the blanket she was laying on.

"And I thought I told you I wasn't going to do that?" She pushed herself up into a sitting position so she could cross her arms as she strained to look up at them. "I'm star gazing."

"You can't see the stars from here, it's too bright." Bucky knelt down beside her and Steve followed suit.

"Maybe you can't but I can," she replied, shoving his knee and laying back.

"Is that so?" Bucky asked, rubbing his chin.

"Look, do you want to lay with me or not? Use your imagination Barns," Darcy huffed and she brought her arms up to make a pillow for herself. Steve and Bucky shared a look with each other before rolling their eyes and getting down on the blanket with her. They laid like that in companionable silence for a while, simply staring at the inky blackness that was the New York sky. "What does your space look like, Steve?" Darcy asked quietly. The question had been eating her up inside. She'd bet it was beautiful, with an imagination like his.

"It looks like The Butterfly Nebula," he said after a moment of thought.

"That's a pretty one." Darcy took an arm from under her head and reached for his hand. Finding it she gave it a little squeeze.

"That it is," he agreed. Keeping her hand in his. He didn't want her to let go. In that moment, he felt a little less alone… and it was nice.

* * *

><p>Steve hated the cold. He absolutely hated it. So he was none too happy having being sent on a mission to the North Pole because some super villain was trying to destroy the earth with some hi-tech machine… that apparently needed to be in the North Pole to work. Who made something like that? He and the other Avengers had been sent to stop it from happening and when they got there, they were greeted by giant robots. Seriously what was with villains and giant robots? They couldn't be cheaper than having old fashion henchmen.<p>

But alas there was a strong lack of henchmen at this battle and Steve found himself going toe to iron toe with a robot. He had been doing well until the thing got a hold of his ankle and Hulk smashed him into the floor. That's when he went through the ice and all at once he was drowning again. The ice water was filling his lungs with sharp stabbing pain and drowning him. He tried to get out but he couldn't find the opening he'd gone through. His movements were becoming sluggish as his muscles froze and his vision was tunneling. The last thing he remembered was Bucky's fist punching through the ice.

* * *

><p>Darcy couldn't sleep. This happened every month or two where she couldn't sleep for a week or sometimes more, only getting three to four hours a night. She didn't know why this happened, but it did. So instead of sleeping, Darcy decided she was going to drink hot chocolate and watch a movie in the common room. The only problem was, when she got there the common room wasn't empty like she thought it would be. Flicking on the lights, she made eye contact with Steve, paused and then turned the lights back off and backed out of the room.<p>

"You don't have to go…" Steve called from the couch where he was sitting in the dark.

"I don't want to bother you."

"I'd like the company," his voice replied.

"Where's Bucky?" she asked.

"Asleep." Turning the lights back on Darcy saw him shiver and frowned. She had heard about what had happened to him in the North Pole. It must have been a shock to his system… and his psyche.

"I'll be right back…" She said, turning and walking away quickly. Grabbing the blanket off her bed she returned back to him and draped it around his shoulders before taking the plug from her electric blanket and plugging it in.

"What are you-"

"When I get cold, I like to be cocooned in warmth. I feel like this is something you need right now… as is hot chocolate. Then you will be warm on the outside and warm on the inside," she rambled awkwardly. "Wait right here." She disappeared into the kitchen and began to make hot chocolate. Why was this so weird? It's not like her and Steve hadn't been alone together before. There was just something about him that made her doubt herself. It was almost as if she didn't need the bravado she had with everyone else. It was unsettling. "There you go… I even gave you marshmallows. Who doesn't love marshmallows?" she said as she handed him the warm drink.

"Thank you."

"No problem-o." They sat quietly for a while, Darcy fidgeting and Steve wrapping himself up just a little tighter in her blanket.

"What are you doing up?" Steve asked breaking the silence and checking the time. It was 3 AM.

"Insomnia. I was going to watch Frozen, but I won't make you sit through that right now," she answered honestly.

"You heard then."

"News travels fast in the tower." Darcy smiled apologetically at him. "For a bunch of spies, they are quite the bunch of gossips." Darcy took a sip of her own hot chocolate and sat back in her chair. "Why aren't you asleep? You look exhausted." It was true, he was looking a little worse for wear. He had bags under his eyes and was having trouble keeping his head up.

"I can't sleep."

"Can't or won't?" Darcy pushed. Steve stared at his feet. She shouldn't be seeing him like this. Weak and helpless. He was the one that was supposed to be strong. "Steve?" She got up out of her chair and moved to sit beside him.

"Won't," Steve relented with a sigh, closing his eyes he brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Whatever's eating at you, you should just let it go." Darcy bit her lip and Steve rolled his eyes.

"Very nice." He ran a hand through his hair, before sighing.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"Every time I shut my eyes I'm bringing down that plane into the ice and I'm drowning all over again."

"For lack of anything better to say, that really sucks," Darcy said, taking a pillow from the couch and placing it in her lap.

"Yeah, it does," Steve laughed.

"Here, put your head in my lap." She patted the pillow in her lap.

"Darcy!" He admonished, the smile fell off Steve's face in an instant.

"Just trust me!" she said, pulling on the blankets around his shoulders. "This is something my mom used to do for me when I had nightmares." She tugged at the blanket again and he rolled his eyes. With a sigh, he straightened out, placing his feet on the couch and his head in her lap. "Close your eyes," she instructed. He did as he was told, feeling a little awkward as she began to run her fingers through his hair. "JARVIS, dim the lights."

"Darcy…" Steve went to get up but was pushed down again.

"Just relax will you." She raked her fingers through his hair and massaged his scalp. After a few moments his shoulders sagged and his stiff posture loosened. "I promise you, nothing is going to happen to you, you are here with me and you are safe," she spoke softly to him and told him one of the stories her mother used to tell her. By the time she was finished he was asleep in her lap.

* * *

><p><em>A.N: So I still don't know what I'm doing and sorry this took a while to get up… I'm just not feeling writing lately. Sorry. You can probably tell. I feel really badly about this chapter, it's absolute crap but I was trying to force myself to write. I feel like it feels a little rushed. Does it? I can't tell. Anyway enough rambling. Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully I didn't disappoint you too badly. <em>

_Friend me on __Tumblr_ _and _Twitter_ if you want to keep up with me. Let's talk. __**Seriously**__. Check out my profile to find out more about me__._


	5. There's A Hole In My Soul

The Broken Ones

Chapter Two:  
>There's a Hole in my Soul<p>

* * *

><p>Warmth encased him and radiated through him, right to his core. Steve was warm and happy, cozy, if a little cramped. But comfortable and he didn't want to move. Ever. He was at peace and he honestly couldn't remember the last time he had felt this way. If he had a say in it, he was going to stay this way, forever. Exhaling contently, he snuggled in closer to his pillow and inhaled deeply - a very feminine, floral scent.<p>

He frowned as the sound of a throat clearly too loudly brought him into consciousness. He wasn't ready to get up. He was going to tell Bucky to _'screw off'_ when it dawned on him.

"Well isn't this a nice sight," Bucky's voice drifted over him.

"Bucky!" Steve jolted up from his comfortable bed and jumped away from it, remembering in a quick second that it was a lap he was laying on.

"Good morning," Bucky greeted them, wedging his shoulder into the door jamb and crossing his arms, his metal one glinting in the morning sunlight.

"This isn't what it looks like," Steve sputtered, spinning around and looking down at Darcy for help. She who had a red mark on her face from where her hand had been propping up her head. She blinked at him.

"Oh, you are so much help!" he whispered sassily to her.

"And what is this supposed to look like, Steve?" Bucky spoke, calmly watching at them.

"I'm… going to go…" Darcy said slowly, standing, she wrapped up her blankets and strode across the room with a confidence she didn't have. "Barnes…" she greeted him as she edged past him.

"Doll." He nodded at her as she left.

Steve watched her go, slack jawed. Was she really just going to leave him here to stew in this mess alone? How was he supposed to explain this without her help? Gulping, he looked up at Bucky through his eyelashes.

_Aw hell_.

* * *

><p>Aside from feeling horribly embarrassed and guilty for betraying his boyfriend, Steve noticed he was feeling something else. Something he hadn't felt in a long time. He was feeling refreshed. He had slept the rest of the night through without a nightmare. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten so much uninterrupted sleep. It was a beautiful thing, feeling refreshed, not so alone and like somebody understood him - even if she had hung him out to dry earlier. It was nice to not have to be the strong one for once. He felt whole: like something that he hadn't known had been missing had finally been replaced. Guilt flooded him.<p>

Steve glanced up at Bucky from his seat on the sofa. Across from him, Bucky sat in his armchair, newspaper in hand, reading silently. The only noise in the room was the crinkle of the paper as he turned the page. The quiet between then was almost suffocating. Steve had no right to feel the way he did. How could he feel like that when Bucky was all he needed?

"I'm sorry," Steve blurted out, his eyes cast down. To his credit, Bucky hadn't said anything about this morning all day.

"For what?" Bucky asked, folding his paper and looking up.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Oh for the love of-" he tossed the folded up paper onto the table so hard it slid off the other end. "I'm not upset over finding you asleep with some, Dame, Punk. Lord knows I've done enough of that. I'm upset over the fact that you didn't wake me up when you needed me. You don't think I know something about being frozen and unfrozen? You don't think, maybe, I might have understood what you were going through?" Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "You're not the only one who's gone through it."

"I didn't need to wake you up, it wasn't that bad," Steve mumbled. Bending forward, he scooped up the ruffled paper and placed it gently on the table.

"It was bad enough that you went to her-"

"I didn't go to her, she just kind of showed up," Steve muttered, rubbing the back of his reddening neck.

"The point is, Steve, I have a problem with you not telling me things. I feel like I don't know you anymore and it's killing me. You don't need to be Captain America for me. I don't need you to be strong for me all the time. You are allowed to be a human being too." He stood and began to pace around the living room.

"Bucky, you know me better than anyone," Steve tried to soothe him. How long had he been feeling like this? The silence between them stretched on as Bucky paced for a while before stopping suddenly in front of Steve.

"Part of being in a relationship is dealing with things together," he said, looking down at his best friend and other half, the irritation he felt slowly leaching out.

"I'm sorry," whispered Steve, feeling like his mother had just scolded him.

"I know." Bucky placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. He wasn't mad anymore, not really. Just a little hurt.

* * *

><p>Out of sheer embarrassment, Darcy refused to leave her room that day. Even when her stomach grumbled and her mouth became a dessert, she stayed in her room. This is why it was 3AM and she had only just ventured out of her safe place and to the kitchen. She had never been so light on her feet, as she was when she tip-toed down the hallway, ready to run at a moment's notice. If there was one thing she didn't want to get between, it was two super soldiers in a lovers quarrel - even if it was probably her fault to begin with. It was cowardly, she knew, but she would never have called herself brave. In fact, she was probably the least brave person in the tower. Not that saying so meant much, given the tower was filled with superheroes. Still, best to not rock the cradle.<p>

Bucky had at least called her Doll. That at least had to count for something right? If Bucky was mad at her, she would have been able to tell… right? Hell, she wouldn't be walking around right now if Bucky was mad at her. He was The Winter soldier after all, he could kill her in the blink of an eye if he wanted to. And he clearly didn't want to, because she was still bumbling around. Though… she had just spent the night with his boyfriend. Maybe he was biding his time. Maybe this was all part of his plan. Maybe he was luring her into a false sense of security and when she least expected it BAM, he would strike.

Pouring her cereal into a bowl, she turned around and made her way to the fridge. Grabbing the milk, she turned back to walk to the counter and just about fainted. Sitting at the breakfast bar, poised but always ready to strike, was the Black Widow. He had sent the God damn Black Widow after her! She had appeared without a sound and scared the bejesus out of Darcy, causing her to drop the milk. She was so done for.

"Shit, where did you even come from?" Darcy said in an octave she didn't know she could reach. That woman was a menace, she needed a bell or something. "Crap." Darcy socks were wet with the milk that was still flowing out of its container. "I'm sorry, I'm such a moron." Grabbing the container, she righted it and reached for the paper towels. She bent down, sopped up the offending liquid while muttering to herself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she said over and over again.

"It is only spilled milk, _Dorogaya_," Natasha's silky voice soothed as came around the breakfast nook and bent down to help Darcy clean up.

"You don't have to do that."

"It's my fault you dropped it," Natasha said, taking the paper towels and tossing them in the bin. "Next time I will announce myself."

"Sorry." Darcy stood, moving to the sink she ran the water and washed her hands.

"There is no need to apologize," spoke Natasha softly as she handed Darcy a new carton of milk from the fridge. "Don't be so hard on yourself." And with that, the mysterious Black Widow left her to her own mortification. Maybe Bucky was going to embarrass her to death? If that was his plan, it was totally working.

* * *

><p>He felt like a heel, an absolute heel. Captain America, the heel. He was such a jerk. He was a really terrible person and he knew it. It had been a week since he woke up in Darcy's lap and Steve was now avoiding her. After she had done nothing but help him, he was avoiding her and he felt... like a heel.<p>

The thing was, he wasn't avoiding her because he was embarrassed. The great thing about Darcy was she never judged him or made him feel like he'd done something wrong. She always managed to make him feel like he belonged somewhere and that he wasn't out of place, even if he didn't understand her half of the time. Steve knew why he was avoiding her and it made him feel horrible… horrible and guilty. He was a terrible person and until he figured out what to do about it... he was going to avoid it.

* * *

><p>She was so alone. Even when she was surrounded by people, she was alone. There was a hole in her soul and nothing could fill it - and it was getting bigger by the day. She had to admit that there were certain times when certain people were around that she didn't feel like that hole was so big but it never left completely, and when she was alone again it felt to her like it had doubled in size. It was like a black hole, devouring anything that got close to it, constantly hungry for more. The question was, how long before it consumed her? And how much longer would she be able to fight it? She was running out of fuel… and fast.<p>

Steve was avoiding her, that much she had pieced together. At first she had felt hurt by it, now she was just angry, which was ironic because she was avoiding Bucky. Enough was enough, though and she had commandeered the common room and was going to watch terrible T.V. and eat junk food. If he wanted to use the common room too, he would have to do it with her in it. She had just settled down and crossed her legs when someone jumped over the back of the couch and landed hard on the cushions beside her. With an exaggerated yawn, Bucky stretched out and put his head on her lap.

"What are you doing?" She blinked, caught off guard.

"I hear you make a comfy pillow, I'm trying it out for myself." He smirked up cockily at her.

"I see and I'm just supposed to be your pillow?"

"Oh I'm sorry, Doll, is this lap only for Steve? Is he your favourite?" said Bucky, clutching a hand to his chest in mock hurt.

"Shut up, Barnes and lay down… I don't play favorites with you two," she grumbled, shoving him down by his forehead. He had clearly been letting her avoid him. God, she felt like even more of an idiot.

"Why's that?" he prodded.

"Because you are both my favourites," she said simply, drawing a smile from him. Taking the clicker from her, he flipped through the channels before finding something interesting and settling in. "I'm sorry," she said, running a hand through his hair.

"For what?" he asked, his brows drawing together, perplexed like he had no idea why she was apologizing. It's not like he had caught her in a compromising position with his boyfriend a week ago. Of course he wasn't worried about her stealing his man. Look at her, especially compared to him, he was an Adonis and she was a frumpy intern.

"I dunno, avoiding you and whatever Steve's avoiding me for." Her hand stilled as she looked away from him.

"Oh that, don't worry about it and he'll get over it." He nudged her hand with his head to get it moving again.

"Did I do something?" she asked, resuming her petting, she could practically hear him purr.

"No, Doll, more like he thinks he did something." Reaching across to the table, he snagged a handful of chips from her bowl and shoved them in his mouth.

"Hey!" She swatted at him. "Get your own."

"Nah, I'll just borrow yours."

"It's not borrowing if you don't give it back!" she exclaimed and he smirked.

"Do you want it back?" he questioned her.

"No, thank you," she said, thinking better of it. His smile disappeared as he sobered up and Darcy's heart began to hollow. Maybe he hadn't forgiven her.

"Don't avoid me again," he said solemnly. "It sucks when you do that."

"Sorry," she apologized. That had not been what she was expecting. Settling in once again, they vegged out in front of the television for the rest of the afternoon. And the hole in Darcy's heart felt a little less consuming.

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><p><em>A.N: Another chapter for you all, hopefully this will live up to everyone's expectations. I'm sorry I'm really running out of steam lately. Also MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Just in case… <em>

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